I need to let somethings out;

Before I went off to staffing, I was really having a hard time. Like to the point of having suicide thoughts again and getting close to doing it. And doing staffing helped a lot. And now that I'm back I feel like I'm getting caught back into it. I don't want this to start all over again. And me go back to what was happening with me before staffing.

God I need You, I need You. Help me desire You and only You.

I honestly feel like I'm in a hole and can't get out.